WELCOME TO LOVE, LIES & SCANDALS
Where passion meets poor judgment… and we try to make sense of it afterward.
This corner of the internet is for people who still believe in love — even after life has provided several compelling reasons not to.
Here we share real stories, relationship insights, mental health lessons, and the occasional piece of hard-earned wisdom that usually arrives a few years later than it should.
Scott (the older, allegedly wiser one) and I talk about relationships, personal growth, emotional chaos, and the strange ways life teaches lessons none of us signed up for.
If you prefer honesty over clichés — and humor over perfect advice — you’ll feel right at home here.
👉 Explore stories, tools, and ideas below.
Small update coming next week:
Love, Lies & Scandals is evolving into The Cynical Romantic.
Same stories. Same voice. Same slightly bruised optimism.
We’re simply making the site easier to read, more fun, and more reflective of what this project has grown into.
Latest from the Blog
👉 stories, and questionable life decisions — newly published.
A few exciting updates are coming next week.
Love, Lies & Scandals will become The Cynical Romantic — a name that better captures the hopeful, skeptical spirit behind the stories here.
At the same time, Do Better. Be Better. will evolve into ADHD in Love, focusing more clearly on how ADHD shapes relationships, emotions, and everyday life.
Same content. Same URLs. Just clearer signposts.
And one important note:
I’m not a therapist, doctor, or mental health professional — just a writer diagnosed with ADHD later in life who started trying to understand why life, focus, and relationships sometimes felt like a puzzle missing a few pieces.
If you’ve ever felt the same way, you’re in the right place.
START HERE
Pick a Journey That Sparks Your Curiosity ⃣
The Cynical Romantic
Cynical about love… but still secretly hoping for a happy ending?
Welcome to The Cynical Romantic — where real stories, questionable decisions, and hard-earned relationship wisdom collide.
This section explores the strange, hilarious, and sometimes painful reality of modern romance. Expect reflections on dating disasters, lessons learned the hard way, and the stubborn human habit of believing love might still work out — even when history suggests caution.
Reality, as it turns out, writes a much messier story.
👉 Explore the journey — it starts here.
ADHD, OCD & Soulmates 5-part Series
I’m The Cynical (Yet Still Weirdly Hopeful) Romantic: late‑diagnosed with ADHD, sprinkled with some OCD tendencies, and possessed of a long, messy relationship history that looks a lot different in hindsight. For years, I chased the idea of being “someone’s person” – the hero, the provider, the perfect match – even when my gut was quietly shaking its head.
In these posts, I’m walking back through my first marriage and the relationships after it with the manual I wish I’d had: how an ADHD brain hyperfocuses on love, how a hero complex can turn romance into a full‑time job, and how an OCD‑flavored need for certainty makes the soulmate myth feel both irresistible and deadly.
This isn’t a clinical lecture. It’s a memoir with side notes: part confession, part conversation, part “learn from my fire so you don’t have to touch the stove.” If you’ve ever ignored red flags because the story felt too good to abandon, or stayed in the wrong role just to feel like the good guy, you’re in the right place.
Pull up a chair. Let’s pick apart the soulmate costume together—and see what’s left that’s actually worth keeping.
ADhd in Love
Formerly: Do Better Be Better Blog Page
One important note before you dive in:
I’m not a therapist, doctor, or mental health professional.
I’m simply a writer who was diagnosed with ADHD later in life and started trying to understand why certain parts of life — especially relationships and focus — always seemed a little more complicated than advertised.
So what you’ll find here isn’t expert advice.
It’s stories, observations, research, and experiments from someone learning as he goes — sometimes successfully, sometimes hilariously not.
👉 Explore the ADHD in Love page and see what resonates.
Soulmates, Spring Fever, and the Trouble With “The One”
Every spring, two things happen.
The trees explode with pollen… and someone I know announces they’ve finally met their soulmate.
Not “a great person.”
Not “someone interesting.”
No — this is The One. The cosmic match. The missing puzzle piece.
As a cynical romantic — someone who believes deeply in love but has also watched a few “forever” relationships quietly exit the building — I find myself wondering:
Where did this soulmate idea actually come from?
And why does it still have so much power over us?
So starting March 18, I’m launching a 7-part series on soulmates — where the idea began, how it evolved, and why it still runs our love lives like a charming but slightly reckless stage manager.
We’ll travel through history, psychology, culture, and modern dating to unpack the myth of “The One.”
Here’s what’s coming.
Part 1 – From Plato to Spring Fever
Where the soulmate idea really started: ancient myths, divine destiny, and the timeless human urge to believe someone out there can fix our loneliness.
Part 2 – Who Invented “Soulmates” (And Why We Fell for It)
How a poetic word from the 1800s slowly turned into a global relationship expectation.
Part 3 – Soulmates or Cognitive Bias?
What psychology says about destiny beliefs, attachment styles, and why intense chemistry can feel suspiciously like fate.
Part 4 – Hollywood’s Favorite Lie
A loving roast of rom-coms and love stories that sell perfect endings without the messy work relationships actually require.
Part 5 – Soulmate vs Twin Flame vs Trauma Bond
A practical guide to telling the difference between spiritual connection… and romanticized dysfunction.
Part 6 – Swipe Right on Destiny
How dating apps quietly amplify soulmate fantasies while also making it easier than ever to walk away.
Part 7 – Soulmates, Cellmates, and Everyone In Between
The final question: can we still believe in deep, life-changing love without the pressure of finding the only person it can happen with?
WHO IS THE CYNICAL ROMANTIC?
Cynical about love… but still secretly hoping for a happy ending?
Welcome to The Cynical Romantic — where real stories, questionable decisions, and hard-earned relationship wisdom collide.
This section explores the strange, hilarious, and sometimes painful reality of modern romance. Expect reflections on dating disasters, lessons learned the hard way, and the stubborn human habit of believing love might still work out — even when history suggests caution.
Reality, as it turns out, writes a much messier story.
👉 Explore the journey — it starts here.
From awkward teenage optimism to adult-level confusion, this section follows the long and occasionally embarrassing evolution of a man who still believes love might work… even if the evidence keeps arguing otherwise.
👉 If you’ve ever rooted for love while quietly preparing for disappointment, you’re in the right place.
👉 Quick Reset That Actually Works
I tried this when my energy crashed — surprisingly effective.
The 5-Minute Walk That Resets Your Brain
When my brain hits that “Nope, we’re done here” wall, I’ve learned not to argue with it.
ADHD brains burn fuel fast — especially during stressful or new tasks — which means sometimes the most productive thing you can do is… step away.
A 5–7 minute walk works like a system reboot.
Movement boosts dopamine, improves blood flow, and clears mental fog surprisingly fast. No special gear required — just shoes and mild determination.
Scott and I are both members of the “early-40s-meets-late-60s experiment club,” and this one consistently delivers.
You don’t come back superhuman — just functional again. Which, honestly, is a huge win.
If your brain suddenly clocks out mid-task, try walking before reaching for more coffee.
It’s the closest thing to a reset button that doesn’t require a password.
Cupid’s Last Stand
Because love may be unpredictable, but comfortable clothing shouldn’t be.
A collection of thoughtful, funny, and occasionally suspiciously relatable items inspired by relationships, resilience, and the human condition.
Elevate your outfit with the men’s premium heavyweight tee. The tee has a structured, classy fit and is both durable and soft thanks to its ring-spun cotton material. Layer the t-shirt or wear it on its own and enjoy great looks with little effort!
• 100% combed ring-spun cotton
• Charcoal Heather and Carbon Grey is 60% cotton and 40% polyester
• Fabric weight: 6.5 oz/yd² (220 g/m²)
• 20 singles
• Regular fit
• Side-seamed construction
• 1 × 1 rib at collar
• Single-needle edge stitch 7/8″