Before we get into the emotional acrobatics—and trust me, there will be emotional acrobatics—let’s acknowledge the person whose work sent me spiraling in a productive direction instead of the usual romantic freefall.

Dr. Megan Anna Neff is a clinical psychologist, researcher, and author specializing in neurodivergence, emotional health, identity, and emotional awareness. She’s also the founder of Neurodivergent Insights, where neuroscience meets lived experience without making you feel like you’re being graded afterward.

Which matters. Especially if you’ve ever been on a first date where you felt something—but didn’t know what it was until three days later… in the shower… replaying the entire conversation like a crime scene.