The Yellow Brick Road Gets Shorter as We Age: Love, Regret, and Real Connection

A reflective, sharp, and quietly hopeful series on love, aging, regret, and emotional growth. Told through the voice of The Cynical Romantic, this 11-part journey explores relationships, fear, comfort, and what it means to keep choosing love as time becomes more finite.

ADHD, OCD and Soulmates Part 4

ADHD, OCD and Soulmates Part 4

For years my favorite story about myself was simple: I’m a great guy who just hasn’t met the right person.

It explained everything—bad breakups, messy marriages, why I was always exhausted from trying so hard. Then one day a doctor asked me a few questions and said, ‘Have you considered ADHD?’

Suddenly ‘great guy’ wasn’t the whole picture. That intense devotion? A lot of it was hyperfocus. The grand gestures and fast commitments? Impulsivity in a nice shirt. The panic when someone pulled away? Rejection sensitivity on full blast.

Getting that word didn’t excuse my choices—but it finally explained the script I kept repeating in every relationship.

Sometimes the label doesn’t limit you.
It just explains the chaos.

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ADHD, OCD and Soulmates Part 3

ADHD, OCD and Soulmates Part 3

I used to think my love language was grand gestures. Looking back, it was more like crisis management.

When things got tense, my first instinct was to go big: an expensive trip, a huge gift, a massive sacrifice I absolutely couldn’t afford. If I pulled it off, we got a week of peace and I got to feel like the hero.

For an ADHD brain high on limerence, that rush is addictive. You don’t just fix a problem—you save the relationship. You save her. You save your role as ‘the good man.’

The bill always came later: in money, in resentment, in the quiet realization that I was performing love instead of living it.

Being the hero feels powerful—until you realize you’ve never learned how to just be a partner.

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ADHD, OCD and Soulmates Part 2

ADHD, OCD and Soulmates Part 2

She looked me in the eyes and called me her soulmate.
I didn’t suddenly believe in The One.
I believed in her belief in me.

Within 18 months: married.
New role: provider, fixer, designated hero.
I treated ‘soulmate’ like a job title I had to earn every day.

ADHD hyperfocus on a relationship looks a lot like devotion.
From the outside: ‘What a committed guy.’
On the inside: ‘If I stop trying this hard, I’ll lose everything.’

Pettiness. Jealousy. Double standards.
My gut whispered, ‘Something’s off.’
The soulmate story shouted, ‘This is just a test.’
Guess which one I listened to?

Pull up a chair. Let’s unravel the soulmate story—and see what’s worth keeping.

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