The Gold Standard for ADHD Therapy
(No, It’s Not Just a Fancy Notebook)
(And Why Compassion Is the Secret Ingredient They Forget to Mention) Do Better. Be Kinder. Repeat.
CBT: The Therapy That Saved My Sanity (And My Google Calendar)
Let’s cut right to it: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy—CBT for those who like acronyms, bullet points, and the illusion of organization—is commonly considered the gold standard for ADHD therapy. But before you start shopping for gold-plated planners, a disclaimer: CBT doesn’t fix everything. It’s not a magic eraser for neurodivergence, nor does it come with a cape (I checked).
CBT works not because it solves every problem, but because it teaches one criminally underrated skill: the pause. That beautiful, awkward, necessary pause before you spiral, before you impulsively RSVP yes to things you’ll regret, before your thoughts form a flash mob in your living room. The pause isn’t glamorous, but it’s essential. It’s like teaching your brain to tap the brakes instead of flooring it every time a wild idea pops up. For those of us whose thoughts rush in like uninvited guests (and occasionally eat all the snacks), that pause is life changing.
Pause before the spiral. Pause before regret. Pause before your brain drags you into a two-hour Wikipedia hole about cephalopods.
CBT doesn’t change who you are. It changes how quickly you hit the gas and, crucially, whether you notice the engine overheating before smoke starts pouring out. For minds that host opinionated thoughts like open mic night, that pause is more valuable than any productivity hack.
To be brutally honest? I didn’t need a better planner. I needed a better relationship with my own brain.
Where OCD Fits In (And Where It Decided to Wander Off)
Now for the twist: This is where things get complicated and where people love a good oversimplification. (Sorry, Internet.) CBT for ADHD zeroes in on planning, prioritizing, follow-through, and gently teaching your brain that starting something doesn’t require an emotional weather forecast. But for OCD, CBT typically morphs into Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). In plain English: “You don’t have to obey every fire drill your brain triggers.”
Mix them together?
You learn how to start things without panic. Stop things without guilt. And maybe even forgive yourself for last week’s failed sourdough starter. That’s not just therapy—it’s a borderline miracle. Or at least the emotional equivalent of two disagreeing roommates sharing a bathroom with minimal passive aggression.
But Therapy Alone Isn’t the Fix—Compassion Is
Here’s the part that never makes the Instagram infographics: Neurodivergent adulthood is half clinical, half emotional roller coaster, with a side of existential dread. Therapy will help your habits. Compassion is what helps your heart. Because what’s the point of restructuring your thoughts if you’re still convinced your past mistakes are tattooed on your soul? What’s the use in mastering time management if shame keeps you from picking up the pen?
Getting diagnosed later in life can bring a wave of grief—grieving the careers, relationships, or versions of yourself that never got their chance to shine. That grief isn’t regression—it’s progress, in weird disguise.
And yes, that realization hit me harder than missing my favorite deadline reminder. (Still not over it.)
Burnout, Reboots, and the Guilt That Shouldn’t Belong in Your Carry-On
When ADHD, OCD, and depression decide to carpool, burnout doesn’t arrive with fireworks—it shows up quietly, like an app running in the background, draining all your battery.
It looks like:
Losing interest in everything overnight
Forgetting how to function (including how pants work)
Needing to hide from people you actually like
Emotional numbness, the kind that makes Netflix ask if you’re still watching
Resting—and feeling a boatload of guilt for it
So let me be crystal clear—and I mean really clear: Rest is not quitting. (Repeat as needed. Tape to your fridge.) Your brain is not a machine. (Mine crashed during a software update called “dating in your 30s.”)
The Dating Disaster That Accidentally Became a Metaphor for Self-Compassion
Once upon a time, I bailed on a perfectly decent date. No dramatic exit, just an awkward, polite Irish goodbye. Here’s the play-by-play, straight from my committee of inner critics:
OCD whispered that she noticed my anxiety.
ADHD piped up with “I wasn’t interested anyway.”
Depression delivered the final punch: “Doesn’t matter. You ruin everything.”
The exit was swift. Polite. Confusing. Her, probably: “Did I say something weird?” Me, definitely: “Welcome to the Olympics of Overthinking.”
Looking back? I wasn’t flawed. I was just running three operating systems in safe mode. She wasn’t judging me. I was judging me. That’s the power of therapy—sometimes the only real judge is the one you see in the mirror. Because sometimes what you think is a flaw is really just a feature that needs a firmware update.
And if it took you a long time to realize that? Welcome to the club. We have snacks, and nobody’s judging.
Sources & Recommended Reading
Research & Professional Sources
Verywell Mind — CBT for ADHD https://www.verywellmind.com/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-for-adhd-20538
Medical News Today — ADHD psychotherapy approaches https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/adhd-therapy
International OCD Foundation — ERP Explained https://iocdf.org/about-ocd/treatment/erp/
Suggested Books
Driven to Distraction — Edward M. Hallowell, MD
The Mindfulness Workbook for ADHD — Lidia Zylowska, MD
Freedom from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jonathan Grayson, PhD
LL&S–Aligned Product Picks
Guided CBT Therapy Journal
ADHD-focused Daily Planner (undated)
Noise-canceling headphones
Weighted blanket
Blue-light blocking glasses
Mindfulness meditation app subscription
Fidget tools designed for adults
